This is one of those teary-eyed blogs that makes me look like a real pussy! Woo-hoo!
Tonight was our sixth Queen class, and my feeling entering it was beyond frustrated.
I think I slowly started to get intimidated over the past six weeks. Here I was, standing in the same room with two amazing Queens that I pretty much idolize (Chocolatta and Twat). They made everything look so easy. Even though they told the class multiple times, that all of their skill comes with time and practice, a part of me just didn’t subconsciously believe it.
My makeup wasn’t coming along; I was scared to step out of my shell. I was scared to fuck up in front of two Queens that are amazing in my eyes. I was scared to fuck up in front of my beyond talented classmates. Hell, I was just plain scared to fuck up. I felt like everyone in the class was making extreme progress, and I just wasn’t there.
…And then, I finally reached out for help. I just started to think: “This is my one opportunity to learn with these amazing people, and I’m not going to waste it because I’m scared.”
I realized that it was okay to not be amazing at makeup yet… Or that I wasn’t fully out of my shell yet. And I also realized that I wasn’t alone…
I finally understood what my fellow DIOuter’s meant when they said “Drag LOVE.” The support, the love, the caring nature from not only the coaches, but from my classmates, was beyond what I could expect. Will and Johnnie (Twat and Chocolatta) literally took me, step-by-step, along with my makeup. And when I fucked up, they let me know that they were once at my level too. Even that I was being too hard on myself. And that I really would get better in time.
Holy shit. When they said that to me, I got teary-eyed (though I tried to hide it to preserve any of my manhood(?) left?). That just meant so much to me… For more reasons than they, nor anyone really knows.
I got into full “face” (makeup) for the first time tonight, and it felt amazing. I was finally able to come out of my shell… When we preformed our song, I felt so much more confident in myself. It just felt… indescribable.
Maybe it’s that I’m just touched. Maybe it’s that it’s 4:00AM. But either way, I am so so so so so beyond grateful for Drag It Out, Chocolatta and Twat, and my fellow draglings.
I have no idea how to describe how I feel right now, but it feels amazing.
…Drag Love <3